“Post Office Unicorn” by Renee Hughes

If you work full-time+, lunch hour is an important part of keeping your life in balance. One day at lunch I ventured into the post office near my workplace to buy stamps, and also to mail a small package to return a good luck charm inadvertently abandoned in my son’s car by a fellow superstitious ice hockey player who carried the item to every game.

There were two postal clerks, one waiting on customers and the other seated at a desk. When I finally made it to the front of the line, the clerk inquired as to whether the package contained anything flammable, etc., and I replied, “No, I am just mailing a unicorn back to its rightful owner.”

The clerk waiting on me acted like, yea, whatever, but the second clerk who was seated behind the counter and to the right just glared at me. The latter’s mouth dropped open and her eyes were wide in horror. I looked at her and remarked, “What? I’m mailing a toy unicorn back to a youth who left it in my son’s car.”

She quickly sighed and replied with obvious relief, “Oh, I thought you meant you were mailing a REAL live little unicorn!” I paid for my postage and turned quickly away from the postal counter, barely restraining my reaction, and made it outside as fast as I could before I laughed until I could barely breathe. My colleagues, straining to believe me, thought the story was hilarious, and thus a little lunchtime levity lightened the afternoon for all.

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