“Go, No Phone” by Renee Hughes

I attended a Cardinals baseball game this week and decided to leave my purse and cell phone at home. No mobile phone? That’s right, zilch cell. I was traveling with my hubby and son to a company’s box and decided I wanted to be social instead.

The real fun started when I readied myself to go through the turnstile. I had my ticket in hand as I moved forward for scanning. The first attendant asked if I had a purse–I replied no and was eyed up and down like how could I be a woman sans a purse.

The fellow then held out a tray and asked for my cell phone. I said I didn’t bring my phone. He cocked his head as to ask if I was for real. I held my hands and said, “See, no cell.” The attendant alongside him held out her tray and politely insisted I hand over my phone. I reiterated that I left the contraption at home. “Oh, you forgot it,” she insinuated, like no sane person would not have her phone glued to her palm.

The absolute best part was as I looked behind me and for once my spouse and son were trailing me collecting their keys, coins and phone. I had not brought any of those so I stood there, tapping my foot waiting for the slowpokes.

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